Patience

D'you remember our last fight?
Or did you forget what it was about?
I dont know why, but
Was there room for doubt?

D'you not miss that night?
Or did you forget what it meant to me?
Tangled in the telephone wire
As if your body was draped around me.

D'you not know the feeling?
Or did you mock me again?
When we talked of Mahiwaal, and how;
Love found both in the end?

D'you not sway with emotion?
Or are you numb inside?
The endless love singes my heart; yet I,
Do not long for the pain to subside.

D'you always put on this mask?
Or is it your heart is of stone?
Are my wishes plain pointless?
What of the dreams that you have shown?

D'you pretend to even know my name?
Or is it that we can never be?
My love, all I can say is, at the end of the day;
Save the last dance for me.

Drug

This one saved MY life too.

'Fuck the poets of the past, my friends.
There are no beautiful suicides,
Just cold corpses with shit in their pants
And the end of the gifts.'

Hasraton Ke Daagh

Jo Hum Ne Daastan - Lata Mangeshkar

Jo hum ne daastaan apni sunayee
Aap kyun roye?
Tabahi to hamaray dil pe ayee
Aap kyun roye?
...
Ghamon ki aag hum ne khud lagayee
Aap kyun roye?
...
Qayamat aap ke ashkon ne dhayee
Aap kyun roye?
...
Fanaa ho jaye gi saari khudai
Aap kyun roye?

Akhiyon Ko Rehne De - Lata Mangeshkar

Akhiyon ko rehne de
Akhiyon ke aas paas
Door se dil ki
Bujhti rahay pyaas

Dard zamanay mein
Kam naheen miltay
Sab ko mohabbat ke
Gham naheen miltay

Tootnay walay dil
Hotay hain kuchh khaas
Door se dil ki
Bujhti rahay pyaas

Reh gayee duniya mein
Naam ki khushiyan
Tere mere kis
Kaam ki khushiyan?

Saari umar hum ko
Rehna hai yun udaas
Door se dil ki
Bujhti rahay pyaas

Ek Tu Na Mila - Lata Mangeshkar

Ek tu na mila
Saari duniya milay bhi to kya hai?
Mera dil na khila
Saari baghiya khilay bhi to kya hai?

Dharti hoon main
Aur tu gagan
Ho ga kahan
Tera mera milan?
Laakh pehre yahan
Pyaar dil mein palay bhi to kya hai?

Taqdeer ki main
Koi bhool hoon
Daali se bichhra
Hua phool hoon
Saath tera naheen
Sang duniya chalay bhi to kya hai?

Ghairon Pe Karam - Lata Mangeshkar

Ghairon pe karam
Apnon pe sitam
Ae jaan-e-wafa
Yeh zulm na kar
Ghairon pe karam
Apnon pe sitam
Ae jaan-e-wafa
Yeh zulm na kar
Rehne bhi de ab thora sa bharam

Hum chahnay walay hain tere
Yun hum ko jalana theek naheen
Mehfil mein tamasha ban jayen
Iss darja ka taana theek naheen
Mar jayenge humm , mit jayenge hum
Ae jaan-e-wafa yeh zulm na kar
Ghairon pe karam, apnon pe sitam

Ghairon ke thiraktay shaanay par
Yeh haath gawaara kaise karein?
Har baaat gawaara hai lekin
Yeh baat gawaara kaise karein?
Tujh ko teri bedardi ki kasm
Ae jaan-e-wafa yeh zulm na kar
Ghairon pe karam, apnon pe sitam

Hum bhi thay tere manzoor-e-nazar
Jee chahay tu ab iqraar na kar
Sau teer chala seenay par
Begaanon se mil kar waar na kar
Be-maut kaheen mar jayen na hum
Ae jaan-e-wafa yeh zulm na kar
Ghairon pe karam, apnon pe sitam

Aap Ki Nazron - Lata Mangeshkar

Aap ki nazron ne samjha
Pyaar ke qaabil mujhe
Dil ki ae dharkan thehr ja
Mil gayee manzil mujhe

Jee humein manzoor hai
Aap ka yeh faisla
Keh rahi hai har nazar
Banda-parvar shukriya
Hass ke apni zindagi mein
Kar liya shaamil mujhe
Dil ki ae dharkan thehr jaa
Mil gayee manzil mujhe

Aap ki manzil hoon main
Meri manzil aap hain
Kyun main toofaan se daroon?
Mera saahil aap hain
Koi toofaanon se keh de
Mil gaya saahil mujhe
Dil ki ae dharkan thehr jaa
Mil gayee manzil mujhe

Barh gayeen dil par mere
Aap ki parchhayaan
Har taraf bajnay lageen
Sainkaron shehnayaan
Do jahan ki aaj khushiyan
Ho gayeen haasil mujhe

These lyrics have more meaning to me than any english song iv ever heard. And no one in the world understands that but me and kishmish, on a sad evening.

Yearning

Is that you calling from afar?
Or is it just your memory?
I miss the sound of your voice
So bad, it burns inside of me.

Is that your voice on the air?
Or is it just the wind?
I miss your soothing comfort
So bad, that I scream for it.

Is that you dancing over there?
Or is it a mirage that I see?
I miss the look on your face
So bad, that I curse my eyes.

Is that you smiling at me?
Or is it for someone else?
I miss that adorable beaming face
So bad, that I smile no more.

Is that you sitting there alone?
Or is it that you wait for me?
I miss our conversations, my love
So bad, that I just cant breathe.

Intizaar

Tumhein roka is kashmakash ne,
Dil ne kya tha kaha?
Ishq se labrez yeh qalb hamatan-gosh hai,
Labon se tu ne kyun na kaha?

Jin ke saharay ishq tha seekha,
Un se kya tha kaha?
Batao muhabbat kya hai; janab,
Khaaksaar se kyun na kaha?

Kaantay jab chubbhay thay tumhein,
Phoolon se kya tha kaha?
Aansoo aye thay jab teri aankhon mein,
Ponchney ko hum se kyun na kaha?

Aaj ke jab tera intizaar hai, mehboob,
Pehli shab tu ne kya tha kaha?
Naheen thay hum gar wafadar,
Yeh gila hum se kyun na kaha?

Taa qayamat rahay gi meri mohabbat,
Tujh se main kya tha kaha?
Mere khwabon ki taabeer hai tu,
Iss se pehle yeh tujh se kyun na kaha?

Oorhni

I picture you wearing only that scarf,
Made of naught but moonlight;
Is it material that guards our bodies?
Or is it just man's mere sight?

I picture you wearing a frown,
Do not look upon me, it proclaims.
Can I really see what you fear?
Or is your heart just full of shame?

I picture you wearing a smile,
A lie it is, so clear;
Isn't it too easy today, my love?
Changing a curse to a sneer?

I picture you wearing black,
Suffered, you surely have not;
Weren't you the benefactor of pain, my love?
Wasn't hatred all that I got?

I picture you wearing the crown,
Feast on the cadaver of your only love;
How many more shall you devour?
Should man stop beleiving in true love?

I picture you wearing nothing,
Born in a brothel, was it not you?
Where are all the admirers now, my love?
Save the beasts who lust for you?

Janam Din

Today, I commemorate the sacrifices
That I myself have made to date;
You may call me selfish or just full of myself,
But is that what I'm here to debate?

Today, I remember those days
When we were all relaxed and carefree;
You may have forgotten, my friends,
But those memories are to death, with me.

Today, I acknowledge your presence
Yes, you've been there, I know;
You were there, true, but
Only for you to show.

Today, I realize the truth
To which I've been blind to;
You, who put the blindfold on my eyes,
Shall, InshAllah, be blinded once too.

Today, I put an end to this life
Of being helpful and caring;
You will resent your actions later,
For I have paid gravely for my forebearing.

Today, I stand on the edge
Of understanding and denial;
You may use me no more, my "friends",
I am no more a child.

Happy Birthday to Me.
Thanks Usmani, Mahnoor, Masood, Aun, Mustapha, Aneeb, Hasan, Saif, Zahra, Nazuk, Feeza, Murty, Umar...loved it.

Baghaavat

You cannot say you dont love me,
No, you just can't.

You cannot raise your hand and strike me,
Even if you must, you just cant.

You cannot say that you dont need me,
Dont deny it, because you cant.

You cannot supress whats inside me,
You may try, but you cant.

You cannot kill my emotions,
Logic won't work here, it cant.

You cannot keep it a secret,
I'll not let it be one, I cant.

You cannot hide forever,
Behind your liqour, you just cant.

You cannot face the angels,
They shun you, so you cant.

You cannot stop me from praying,
I pray for you, so you cant.

You cannot be all pretentious,
And expect me not to be, you cant.

You cannot be all-knowing,
No man can know all; you cant!

You cannot really be who you are,
I have faith in you still, you cant.

You cannot expect me to love you still,
Trust me, you cant.

You cannot begin to imagine,
My life with you, you cant.

You cannot even dream of,
Making me feel happy, you just cant.

You cannot hug or kiss,
To subdue the pain, you cant.

You cannot even say soft words,
To distract me from it, you cant.

You cannot be what you should be,
Its what I hope for, but you cant.

You cannot even appreciate,
The respect that you command, you cant.

You cannot even remember,
My first walk or word, you cant.

You cannot ignore my pleading,
Listen! You cant.

You cannot overlook my care for you,
Then again, you just cant.

You cannot take me for granted, though,
I wont allow it, so you cant.

You cannot bear what is within me,
Take a hint, dad, you just cant.

Moi?

Disorder Rating

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Life

Life's a charade
Questions that need answering
Answers...that are omnipresent
But which of them need answering?

Life's a game
Players it has many
Plays are also plenty
But playing isn't the role of many.

Life's a stage
Mere puppets we are
God's the puppeteer
Without strings, nothing more, we are.

Life's a bitch
And then we die
Tell me, my friend...
Why do we, live a lie?

Affection

The sparkle in your eyes
The twitch of your lips
The touch of your hand
That bend of the hips

The softness of your hijaab
The crudeness of your style
The smell of your hair
That flowed like the Nile

The panic in your voice
The passion in your kiss
The wetness of your tongue
That face that I miss

Its not just this, believe me
To you, theres a lot more.
I love you more than you know
I just hope you know that for sure.

Hope

Is this insanity? Are we crazy?
Have you any clue how I feel inside?
The passion burns forever more;
And the pain does not subside.

Can we again gaze upon the stars?
And forget about kith or kin?
Let us share our passion
Like once we shared skin

Or should I give up and move on?
Is it there is no hope at all?
Cold they have all become,
Summer, Spring, Winter and Fall.

Will you dazzle me once more?
With your ever-lasting smile?
Perhaps it shall, for now,
Make the wait worthwhile.

Do you even wonder?
Or ever think where I may be?
Dark corridors are all I tread now;
Wondering of who, but thee.

So is love omnipresent?
Does it not ever end?
I guess, so is sorrow then;
Which is all there is at the end.

Sitam

Woh pyaar to na paa sakay
Jis ke liye taraptay thay hum
Tu ne haath chhura liya to kya?
Bhool gaye mujhe tere sitam?

Jab milay thay pehli baar
Tere nainon mein kho gaye thay hum
Teri awaaz ko sanson mein bharnay lagay
Tere kehkahay hi dhar gaye woh sitam.

Samajh mein na aye yeh baat
Kis raah par chal rahay thay hum
Dar-ba-dar us andheray mein
Sehtay rahay tere sitam.

Dost tha main? Ya woh bhi naheen?
Teri nazron mein kya reh gaye thay hum?
Pyaar naheen to naa sahi,
Dhaye mujh pe kyun woh sitam?

Aur aaj, jabke hum sadaa rahein ge judaa
Waqt...yeh din aur raat...kaise guzarein ge hum?
Pyaar ke siwa diya kya tha tujhe main ne?
Badlay mein jis ke milay tere sitam.

Apne hi saye mein chhup ke
Tere bin bhi jeena seekh lein ge hum;
Par dua hai meri tujhe phhir bhi
Jaise bhi thay tere sitam.

Khush?

Kho bhi jaaoon tere nainon mein
Meri chahat to adhoori rahay gi
Jab bhi tanhayee ka aalam ho
Awaaz teri phhir goonj utthay gi

Gird-o-nawah ki is bheer mein
Meri rooh tujhe pukarti hai
Kis mor pe khara hai tu?
Teri manzil tujhe pukarti hai

Aankhein num to hain, dil hai afsurda
Teri yaad mein kitna hum peetay hain
Tu kya jaanay, kaise hum roz
Ghut ghut kar yeh zindagi jeetay hain

Tujh se baat karne ka
Mauqa bhi to naheen
Teri ek jhalak hi hai mere paas
Aur kuchh bhi to naheen

Waah Re Kebab Teri Kismat

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Emotional Stability ||||||||| 22% Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 50% Liveliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||| 58% Social Assertiveness |||||||||||| 34% Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 54% Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Introversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Independence |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Tension ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%

personality tests by similarminds.com

Aao Twist Karein

Tum saamne hi rehna
Waheen baithi raho
Jahan se tumharay yeh geelay hont
Dekhte hue meri palkein jam jayen

Samay tham jaye
Duniya bhi ruknay lagay
Teri un aankhon mein
Mere yeh nain kho jayen

Tum haso to sahi
Muskurao, aur bas kuchh na kaho
Aankhon ki yeh baatein
Kaheen lab na keh jayen

Zulfein hain jo teri
Meri puri duniya samaytay hain
Aao mere saath, ke hum un
Mohabbat ki vaadiyon mein gum jayen

Aur aazmayesh na lena
Tera apna hi hoon, ab sitam chhoro bhi
Hasrat meri hai yehi
Ek doosray mein bas sama jayen...

Deception

Here is a poem I wrote in February 2004, published in the 'Aitchisonion 2004'.

She enters
Her sublte walk goes unnoticed
An act of desperation follows,
Yet, no response.

She exits
The incoming wind speaks of her scent
Heads turn
Eyes follow

Hushed Voices
The job done...she disappears
But she wants more...
There, Then.

She's no different...
No better...
Just a fake smile,
On a face with many faces

Her charisma fails to empower me
Her beauty fails to attract
My lust for another
Shields me from her sadistic charm

Till she returns
Hears wait...bated breaths...
Thoughts and fantasies linger
For that deceptive, illusory face.

Bas Tum

Teri un zulfon ki khusbu
Abhi bhi taaza hai meri bahon mein
Jo aansoo tum ne bahaye mere kandhay par
Numi kar gaye hain meri bhi aankhon mein

Ghari ghari raah dekhta hoon main teri
Aaati naheen hai tu, nakhray dikhati hai
Adaayen hi hain teri jo mujhe bhaa jaati hain
Aankhon aankhon mein bol tu kya batati hai?

Tere siwa mera hai kaun?
Jo sunay meri baatein, meri sab faryaadein?
Rab janay kya ho ga gar aisa ho...
Reh jayen mere paas teri sirf yaadein.

Fatwa

Kehtay hain log, yeh sab najayez hai
Nazrein tak apni neechi rakho,
Sar ko dhanpo, Tasbeeh karo,
Kya logon par bhi naheen yeh jayez hai?

Main naheen hoon tyaar, yeh mannay ko
Asool hain tou sab ke liye hain
Main, tum, ham sab; yeh qaum
Bolo ho tum sab tyaar inhein yakdam mannay ko?

Agar pyar dena naheen jantay,
Tou Pyaar lene ki bhi ummeed na rakho
Yehi tou bazaar-e-duniyia hai
Ab tak jeevan mein tum itna naheen jantay?

Saaz hon ge makrooh tumhein,
Par suntay to tum bhi ho woh naghme
Chahay hon deen ke yaa ishq ke,
Kya aisi hi be-hissi hai tumhein?

Aray jao keh do un sab say
Jo kehte hain deen ke hain rakhwalay
Mohabbat-e-deen dar asal kya hoti hai
Ab poochein ge hum un say?

Dil mein abhi soz hai baaqi
Ishq Mohammad se, mere rab se bhi hai taaza
Bolo ab ae buzdilon...
Hawas aur zaat ke siwa tum mein hai kuchh baaqi?

Waqayee?

Here's a list of things passed on from many bloggers. Copy it and put the things you've done in bold and add another thing at the end.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sunrise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight (food be much delicious and powerful commodity to waste)
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger (ok, an acquaintance, but for all intents and purposes, a stranger)
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath/shower
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theatre
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to know about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97 Lied
97. (the real 97) Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night-stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Moulin Rouge
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressperson
133. Packed up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: take, landing, during
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for his or her actions
175. Gone back to school (ok, yeah if visiting counts...)
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author whom you missed in school, and read him/ her
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch (tried to anyway)
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Lost your Best Friend for reasons of death
201: Fallen in love over the internet
202: Sung in a Barbers' Shop Quartet
203: Eaten a live animal
204: Been able to communicate in a language you barely learnt barely three days earlier. (twaday kinnay bacchay hain? :D :D) (ok, not been able to communicate well, but communicate nonetheless!)
205: Memorized words from all Disney movies like Aladdin, Lionking etc; furthmore, dialogues from Friends, Smallville and Star Trek (main bohat faarigh hoon)

It's fun.